In Case You are Wondering Who I am

There was a day when I thought my story was unique. I came from an apparently non-Jewish family and was curiously called to Judaism. Judaism spoke to me and I followed that calling. 

As I have gotten more involved with Jewish history, I realize, past and present,  my story is anything but unique. And there are many people just like me. What is my story? Read on. 

 When I was a child, there was no part of Christianity that appealed to me. I had nothing against Christianity, it just did not interest me. As a person, I have always followed the things that inspire me, and avoided things that did not appeal. 

My family were not attached to any religion in particular. We went to church occasionally, but, not with any regularity and certainly not with any involvement. Honestly, looking back, I do not know why we went. We moved a lot and when we moved to a new  place, we made an appearance at some church, for a brief period of time. And then stopped. My total lack of interest in Christianity did not ruffle any feathers in my household. Nobody in my household was particularly interested either. 

 I was about 10 when I began reading books of Pearl S. Buck. The Pearl is one of her most popular books, but, in fact she wrote over 200 books and short stories.  The woman was an incredibly prolific writer. One of her "other" books, the Peony, was about the Jews of Kaifeng. I loved the book. It ignited a fire in me and I began researching Judaism at my public library, buying any books I could find at the used book store. By the age of 12, I had decided I was a Jew. There was no doubt in my mind. I demanded to have Hebrew lessons. 

My obsession with Judaism did not exactly match up with my family or my family life. As far as I could see, I was just from a sectarian non-religious family. I would say my family was of no religion. So, when I developed an interest in a religion, I think they just thought it was odd. 

Not long after, I was befriended by one of the few Jewish students at my school. Marc Hochstein. His family welcomed me with open arms into their very Jewish household.   I rarely missed a Shabbat dinner at the Hochstein home. Marc's mother was a convert and Marc's dad came from a storied Jewish publishing family. In short, they took me in, and made me a part of a Jewish family and gave me a Jewish life. I found a family in which I fit.  

I decided to go to New York University because I wanted to live in a Jewish city. I found a synagogue that I liked and joined the Talmud class. I ended up getting a degree in Jewish history, language, and literature. I could have sat in those classes all day long. As if I was starving for the information being offered up by the professors. 

Having gotten a degree in Jewish history, there were not a lot of jobs on offer. So, I taught at a local Hebrew school for a time. 

At a point, I began researching my family, and to my surprise, I discovered I came from a Jewish family. Not that anyone I was related to was particularly aware of the fact. It certainly did not come up in conversation. Or even in their consciousness. But, my research revealed all four of my grandparents were of Jewish ancestry. 

The more I researched the family, the more sense the family made to me. Their choice of professions, their choice of religions, their way of being, gender roles in the family,  cooking styles, marriage patterns, all contained artifacts of their ancestors Jewish life. 

For two thousand years in the Christian and Muslim world,  Jews have gone into hiding, and when the coast was clear, reclaimed their religion. It turns out, rather than being an oddball, I am part of a long chain of Jews who have returned to the religion of their forefathers. 

As I said, I have discovered that I am one of many people who made a return to Judaism. That said, everybody who returns to Judaism has their own experience. I actually think it's about like coming out of the closet as a gay person. If you come from a religious Catholic or Baptist family, returning to Judaism may be more difficult. You may get resistance from your family, your friends, your community. If you come from a religiously loose family, like mine, it's easier.  I was called to Judaism, I followed, and never gave it a second thought. Other people struggle. 

My Hidden Jewish Ancestry comes from all different directions. All four of my grandparents have Jewish Ancestry. I descend from English Crypto-Jews, Spanish Crypto-Jews, French Crypto-Jews who became Huguenots, Swiss Jews who became Swiss Mennonites, Italian Crypto-Jews who joined the Church of England. 

It turns out this secular suburban boy descends from Jews from around the world. They had one thing in common. They went into hiding to survive. And oddly, in America, my French Jewish ancestors, who had became Huguenots, married Swiss Jews that had became Mennonites. 

So that's my story. I came from a non-Jewish home, felt drawn to Judaism, and it turns out I was born a Jew. I just did not know it. 

I think like a lot of Crypto-Jews, I did not get the warmest reception from the Jewish establishment when I began exploring my interest in Judaism. I had to do a lot of discovery on my own. Then and now, a lot of Jews from conventional backgrounds do not greet Crypto-Jews  with encouragement or assistance. 

For this reason, I decided to create this website for people who might feel drawn to Judaism, might suspect they come from a Jewish background, or may found out they had Jewish ancestry through an ancestry DNA test, and want to know more. 

I am a Jew who wants to welcome Crypto-Jews back to the world of Judaism. And increasingly  there are organizations that welcome Crypto-Jews. I will provide you with those organizations in the various tabs and articles found on this website.  

And, there is no need for people to do the same hard work I had to do! I had to figure out a lot of stuff on my own. I think re-inventing the wheel is a waste of time. So, with any luck, you will find this website helpful.